No Real Subject

How sad is that? I have been away so long that I can't even think of a proper title for this post. I'm hoping this is like riding a bike, it will all come back to me. 

So I was in the city with my sweet sis last weekend. She gave me a whole lot of grief for the contents of this blog of late. I believe the direct quote was "It's snowing glitter?? What the bleep is that????" She was harsh but appropriately so. I have had a few people tell me that they come by and are disappointed at my lack of content. Just the push and encouragement I needed....I hope.

Much is going on around here. Most importantly, it is my baby boy's 6th birthday today. We have so many celebrations planned. They will still be going on 2 weeks from now. Today started with a Dunkin' Donuts run and will continue with a boys' trip to the barber (always a good time), a run by Toys R Us,  followed by a pick up of our good buddies for lunch at the Rain Forest Cafe. Not too bad for celebration number one on your 6th birthday.

In other exciting yet scary news, we are going to attempt to sell our house. Sources say that the market is picking up so hopefully it won't take a million months to sell. I have never done this before let alone with 4 kids and 2 dogs so wish me luck...I'm gonna need it! Why are we choosing to move in a hideous real estate market, you might be wondering? Because we are busting at the seams over here and while it may be near impossible to sell, it is heaven for the buyer....which we hope to be very soon.

Due to the listing of the house, the Nook had to be disassembled.  This is what it used to look like...on a good day. Today it looks like this:

The general public would probably prefer a gym to a crafty nook. I wish this gym was as exciting to me. Can't say that I have used it one time. But this is all for the greater good so I am fine with it.

Here is what I have left. One drawer of fabric, a bit of yarn and my machine. Sorting through my mess was liberating. I donated A LOT of yarn and fabric and while it was hard to see how much I had spent, I was relieved to accept and move on. AND I haven't bought a single craft item since. I think I may be cured of my hoarding tendencies...knock on wood.

Still so much more to report. I will be back soon....I promise!

Such a Long Absence

So very much to report but simply no time...or energy. The Nook has been dismantled. I have only the bare essentials to work with for a while. Needed to make things look neat and tidy. Will share more later.

House is full with 6 kids this week. Beautiful nephews visiting while parents get some much needed R&R. Trying to keep my head above water with puke and coughs, Taekwondo and hockey, school and homework, friends and tons of fun. All good (minus the sickies) just really busy.

In past weeks, visited Mexico and the Wisconsin Dells, big boy's hockey team earned title of division champions, little boy became an orange belt, girls along for the ride and sweet as angels. Hope to share pictures and stories soon. Real soon.

Blahhhhhh...

That is how I feel. I think the gloomy, cold winter weather is getting to me. Is it spring yet? B and I are off to Mexico in two weeks and I am not even especially excited about that. Sad, I know but just goes to explain the extent of my blahs. My sis assures me that I will become giddy when I am packing my flip-flops and sundresses in a few days. I know I will but I really can't wait for flowers in my yard and playing outside with my kiddos. I am so looking forward to summer adventures and lazy days free of schedules and homework. Ahhhhhhh, makes me smile to think about it.

The blahs are zapping my zest. I am a dreamer and when I have no dream, I feel....well, blah. I wish that dream maker inside would stick around permanently. It's a real bummer when she takes a vaca. Any suggestions on how to woo her back? I am quite sure that a little Nook organization would help. My muse cannot function in my disfunction. Truth is that my blahs have stolen my motivation. Guess I got to push on through. Sometime you just have to make things happen for yourself. I'm off to give that a go.

You Know What They Say About Karma...

Poor, poor Posy. She distinctly resembles that frightening looking cat in the last post. She went into the groomer fluffy and cute and came out like this. I guess all the snow rolling and blankie snuggling caused her to become quite matted. I suppose I deserve it for the smack talking I did. Touché.

Just a Real Funny Story

A couple of weeks ago, I took my big dog to the groomer at PetCo. He has only been there a handful of times but he was in deep need of a bath and all the works. I had to get Tuck signed in before they could take him back for his spa treatment. A poor unsuspecting man and his two young sons walked in and received a warmer welcome than they may have been wanting.

Now I will make no excuses for my big dog or myself. We are ill-behaved. We got Tucker as a puppy and two months later, found out I was pregnant with the twins. Needless to say, obedience was low on our list of priorities at the time. So now he is perfect at home but when we get him out, the fact that he has not been trained properly becomes evident.

So maybe he jumped up....once or twice. And there is a possibility that in his excitement he may have, but my memory is fuzzy, slobbered a bit. He for sure shed a LOT since that is part of the reason we were there in the first place. Like I said, terribly ill-behaved. The man was appalled. That is the only word I can use to describe the look on his face. He asked me if I really meant to have a dog like that. Like perhaps it was all a big mistake. He then told his two young sons, who looked equally as appalled, that this is what you get if you really want a dog. The look on the boys' faces was priceless. They had the good graces not to say it out loud in front of me, shocking based on the statements of their father, but their faces said loud and clear "No daddy, we don't want a dog at all!"

They turned around and walked back out the door they came in and I chuckled to myself. Don't get me wrong, I was embarrassed by Tuckers ill-behavior but what do you expect when you walk into the PetCo grooming shop? I turned back to the gal signing us in and happened to notice a frightening sight on the grooming table. A cat with no hair. I don't mean the super cool sphinx cats that are naturally hairless. I mean a long haired cat with no hair except on it's poofy head and floofy tail. Immediately I wondered if the cat had run in with a skunk or perhaps a really big wad of bubble gum. I asked the groomer why the cat was bald. He said some people just like it like that. Then it hit me. The bald, long-haired cat belonged to the man who walked in and met Tuck. Ahhhhhhh, it all made sense now. I did, for my pride's sake, confirm that it was the man's cat. I could certainly see why my dog was nothing but appalling to the man with the naked cat.

The Lessons...

With the kids home this past week, I haven't had much time to write. I do want to put the lessons I learned into writing so that I can refer back when I forget the power this last month held.

First I learned that I get overwhelmed and stifled pretty easily. I am notorious for making excuses and talking myself out of action. What these last 25 days have shown me is that all I have to do is put one foot in front of the other. I have always envisioned a grand entrance into volunteering...when I have the time. I tell myself that when my kids are older, I will certainly give much more. Truth is I don't have to wait and my family doesn't have to suffer because of my desire to do for others. One small gesture can have a lasting ripple affect. A simple smile can change the course of a person's day. If that is all I have to give, it is more than enough.

I also learned that opening my heart to the needs of others changed the energy I present to the world. I typically have a very closed energy. I go about my business and truthfully avoid interaction with strangers. I'm sure much of that comes from childhood. I had a few scary stranger run-ins which created a tough exterior. Now that I am an adult, I can let down that guard and let people in, even if only for a minute or two. The other night I was at the Hobby Lobby and the girl in front of me just started talking to me. She obviously had things on her mind. She opened the conversation by telling me that she was exhausted and her trip was only half over. I had no idea what she was talking about but I asked her about it and she vented a little. Before now, that just wouldn't have happened.

I learned that my kids really are sponges. They look to us for guidance on how to live their lives. When we feed them good food, their bodies thrive. When we feed them good information, their spirits and minds thrive. We have the power to instill so much. It takes a conscious effort but it is so worth it!

I learned that I like discipline. It has always been a struggle for me. Many times I have wanted to blog everyday or exercise everyday but I always fall off the wagon. This is the first time in a long time that I put my mind to something and saw it through everyday for 25 days. I loved it! I loved the feeling of accomplishment and the way it changed me. You do have to do something consistently for a long period of time to see a change. And a change I have seen.

Most importantly I learned that one person truly can make a difference. I have been skeptical of that for a long time. One of the ways that I have talked myself out of acting is that if it's not big enough, it won't matter. So not true. In the small gestures we made, I could see a huge effect.

I will continue this habit, maybe not on a daily basis, but it is a part of me now. I am grateful for the experience and I look forward to committing to another 25 days. The catalyst for this was Christmas but it is an invaluable exercise any time of year!

Thank you all again for doing this with me. For your kind words of support, for your encouragement and love. I am grateful for you all!

Beautiful.

If only our morning minds were filled with stories like this everyday instead of violence, corruption and war. I know I would feel much more hopeful and a little bit lighter. I am inspired.

Frugal but Giving

So Much Inspiration

Sometimes I get overwhelmed by all of the inspiration I find in the blogosphere. The other day I was on a crazy roll of amazing women posting incredible things.

The idea for this ornament wreath came from here. I ran right out and picked up a 50 pack of ornaments and within 20 minutes, I had this little beauty hanging on my banister. I was so grateful because my poor banister needed a little Christmas pick me up!

I also grabbed some slippers so I can do this to them.

Felt ornaments are in the works. These are absolutely to die for!

Oh and if I could possibly find the time, I would make at least 2 of these

Seems Strange

That my heart is overflowing and warm even though the world outside looks like this:

The warmth of my cozy home, the closeness of my children and the completely joyful spirit of Christmas are more than enough to battle the blizzard outside. In fact, I am grateful for the chaos outside because it makes me overwhelmed with gratitude for the peace inside.

Time to Pay the Piper

*Please excuse this Disney trip interruption...I just have something to say.*

Did I really think it was possible to become a mother at 18 and never suffer any personal, emotional consequences? I think I did. I guess I was wrong.

Some issues, tears, introspection, fears have bubbled up lately. Not sure why this has taken 13 years to show its ugly face but it is what it is. I am in mourning. I am feeling the loss of my young adulthood. I missed out on the time in life that it is not only acceptable to make mistakes, it's sort of expected. I am feeling the continual pressure of perfection. The pressure is self inflicted but present none the less.

I was a melancholy teenager who suffered with some depression, social anxiety and other negative emotional issues. Probably pretty run of the mill teen stuff. I skipped the step of total self involvement when I got pregnant. I didn't ever indulge my selfish desires or experience what it feels like to worry about myself above all others. It was a strange relief to focus on something/someone other than myself at the time. I felt a higher calling. I pushed myself to excel and achieve, more for my child than myself, but it felt good. I remember being grateful for the direction and sense of responsibility.

Its not that I'm questioning any of those feelings. I have never felt more powerful as I did in my early 20s. While everyone else was out making their mistakes and having a darn good time doing it, I was busting my butt at school, working and raising a child.

Here I am today, wife and mother of 4 wondering what it would feel like to be free. Not free of my family. I could not live one day without them. They are my heart and my life. Just free. Free to make mistakes, free to learn about who I am, free to find out what makes me tick. Free to run free. Free to fly.

Fact of the matter is....I would fly right back home. This is what I always wanted and where I belong. But I think I would appreciate it a whole lot more and that is what I really want. I want to be here with a free and open heart. That would be perfection. Now to figure out how to make that happen....

Man, She's Singin' My Song

Excerpt from an interview with Uma Thurman in today's Chicago Tribune:

She says for the past six years she has refused to work on movies shot away from New York City, where she lives, though she's looking to become more flexible.

"To totally put it as far to the side as I have ... has started to have a slightly corrosive effect on me, and, like this character, I need to make sure I do have the balance. 

"I'm allowed to work. I'm allowed to. I can forgive myself for working, because it's important for who I am."

She's also working on appreciating what she's accomplished.

"I remember watching 'Pulp Fiction' again with Quentin before we did 'Kill Bill,' and I thought, 'God, I was good in that,' " she recalls. "I never had a moment of self-esteem from that Oscar nomination. Some mean person wrote, 'Oh, more the part than the player,' ... and that's all I took from it."

So one snarky comment ruined her entire Oscar nominee experience?

"One snarky comment, and that was it," she says. "I was actually embarrassed at the Academy Awards. I just felt like 'more the part than the player,' I'm just here because they liked the movie, I'm not really any good. My negative mantra is so strong. Seeing it again and going, 'Wow, I was good' -- it's too bad that I couldn't take any pride in that."

She laughs.

So she feels valid now?

"I do. I started to feel more valid. Yeah," she says. "I mean, I don't really dwell on it. I think I'm just self-punishing. I don't need to go out of the way to knock my own teeth out. They've been knocked out enough. "There's something nice about a long, hard walk. You feel like you've really earned it. You know what I mean? Not that you did anything so perfect, but you made it."

Goodness... stepping out of the "game" feels corrosive, trying to find the balance, deciding that nurturing ones own spirit and aspirations is ok and self-punishment. The part about the snarky comment certainly struck a nerve. Is it just me or is this the song of mothers everywhere? I have been thinking on this subject a lot lately and this article summed it up better than I could.  Even an accomplished actress feels the same way I do. We can be more than we ever imagined if we can just move beyond our own insecurities. It is a process and a journey but it feels good to know that I am not alone.

Meditative Walking = Inspired Thought

What the hooey is that? Well, I was standing in the grocery isle the other day and I saw an article on the cover of a women's magazine and it said "Lose 9 lbs. every week". Skeptical but intrigued, I grabbed a copy and gleaned as much as I could in 3 minutes. The gist of the concept was that you can increase the loss of belly fat by meditating while walking. No music, no TV, no books, just positive thinking. Apparently it has to do with hormones released when you focus on positive things in combination with light to moderate exercise. Do I believe that I, or anyone for that matter, will lose 9 lbs a week? Absolutely not. But a little positive meditation instead of trash TV can only do good things, right? 

So I jumped on the treadmill a day or two ago and forced myself to exercise in silence, focusing only on my thoughts. Don't get all excited, I didn't lose an extraordinary amount of belly fat, but what did happen is my mind went bonkers. I started with thanking God for all of my blessings and then the creative stuff started pouring out. I created a line of little girl clothes in my head. I got all worked up about it that I hopped off the mill at the end of my workout and headed straight to my good friend, JoAnn's. Here is the first finished piece. 

I have been wanting to make a jumper forever but just never have. This little frock is made of the same polyester herringbone that I used for my own dress. The ruffle down the center was made by cutting a plaid cotton double the length of the dress x 6". I created a tube, pressed it flat, gathered it to the length of the dress and stitched it down the middle. I added the ruffle before constructing the dress so all ends are tucked in. The shoulder straps are obviously secured with covered buttons. Love those!

Now lets be honest, will I really produce a whole line? Probably not, but I will get back on that old mill of mine for some more meditative walking. Go ahead, try it and let me know what inspiration you conjure!

Gratitude

It's one of the most important components to a fulfilling, successful life if you ask me. If you can't see and be grateful for what you have and receive then you will never find true contentment. I am desperately trying to teach this to my oldest child. Some come into this world with a  natural sense of gratitude and some come with an overdeveloped sense of entitlement. My child was born with the latter. I know that this is a problem with American youth in general but I have to toot my own horn and say that we have not overindulged with no expectations. There are very high expectations in our household. Reminders of his blessings come daily from his parents. Why can't he internalize this gratitude concept? 

A long time ago my wise and all knowing mother told me that I cannot make him understand, all I can do it continue to say it and trust that one day he will get it. I have seen that process happen. As he grows and matures, I see our hard work paying off one little insight at a time. Today we struggle. It is 9:30 Sunday morning and I am sitting in the concession area of the ice rink typing this. We will stay here for an hour and then hop in the car and go directly to the baseball field where his dad, who is the coach of his team, will be waiting to coach him on to victory. Our lives revolve around this child at the moment and that is ok. We chose to do this with him and for him but it has come at a high cost. Date nights are at the rink, all of our extra money has been pumped into his athletics. His siblings' had to forgo their extracurriculars because there is no time or money for it. I don't want him to feel bad about it because we don't, I just want him to appreciate it. I guess we'll just have to keep reminding him because I don't want to have to take it all away. But rest assured, if that is what I have to do, I will. Parenthood.... whose idea was this anyway?

I Have a Confession

I know I have apologized profusely for neglecting this blog (as well as my other one). I haven't been totally honest as to why I haven't been around. Truthfully there are probably many factors that have lead to my decline but I have decided to confess the main reason.

About a year ago I attended a social gathering with people I didn't know well or, in many cases, at all. The topic of blogging came up and, to make a long story real short, I was asked point blank "Why do you think that anyone cares about what goes on in your daily life? Why don't you just send emails to friends and family, aka the people who actually do care? " Now many of you reading this (if I even have any readers left) are fellow bloggers and I happen to know that I am not alone when I say that that very thought has crossed my own mind periodically. It's that dark, nasty voice that tries to deter us from doing anything significant or meaningful. It's that voice that makes us our own worst enemy. I have fought that rotten voice off for the 3+ years I have blogged and crafted, reminding myself to ignore it and carry on. Well that one fateful night last year was the physical manifestation of "the voice". It looked me in the eye and told me that I have no place speaking publicly. That my life is insignificant and no one cares. Sadly, that was more than I could take. I subconsciously decided to close up shop and quietly retreat back to my apparently insignificant life as a stay at home mom.

I know you all are disappointed in my inability to call an asshole and asshole and stand up for myself and blogger womankind. Rest assured that no one is more disappointed than me. I allowed this person to take my voice. Not the nasty one but the self-expressive one. The one that makes me feel alive and connected. The one that allows me to vent all of this creative and occasionally stifled energy and, in turn, makes me a better mother...a better person.

Over the months that I remained quiet, a very sad thing happened. I lost my voice. I forgot all that makes my mind race and my pulse speed up.  Last week I realized how much I missed this little outlet of mine. Sharing about my family and daily activities is fun and I love that my distant relatives and friends can stay in the know but what I missed most was sharing me. My thoughts, my hardships, my isms and revelations.  I processed my thoughts this way and, most importantly, I received good, positive feedback from people who cared.

So here I am, confessing the truth and standing up to say...no yell

MY LIFE MATTERS. MY THOUGHTS MATTER. I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO SAY WHATEVER I WANT TO SAY IN AS PUBLIC A PLACE AS I WANT TO. YOU DON'T HAVE TO READ IT...HECK YOU DON'T EVER HAVE TO COME HERE AT ALL. BUT IF YOU DO, MY DOOR IS ALWAYS OPEN. AMEN

Missing You!

My poor little blog, I am sorry for the neglect. Life is so very busy and finding time to nurture and grow you is escaping me. I have so much to share that I could burst. Soon...I hope. I will leave you with this new summertime favorite just so you don't forget about me.

A Small Change to this Blog

Some of you may be aware that I have been authoring another blog for the last few years. My other place is where my blogging "career" began. It was a way to stay connected with family and special friends who supported me through my very challenging twin pregnancy. I met, via an online support group, women who understood what I was facing. The odds of meeting someone in person were slim to none considering that the type of twins I was diagnosed with occur once in 60,000 pregnancies. Those special women were my lifeline and my angels. I still keep in touch with many of them and I believe I always will. Through blogging, we could stay connected with one another and get a day to day view of each other's lives.

Over the last year, I dove, head-first into crafting. I began creating everyday and desperately wanted to connect with like-minded people. That was the motivation behind starting this blog. Today I feel disjointed. My past experiences and the friends I have made along the way are a very important, very real part of who I am but so is my need to create. It no longer feels right to keep them separate. So I have decided to focus my energy here. I will continue to post about my creations and doodads but I am going to be adding more about my most important work...my family.

Soooooo, that is my very long winded way of warning those who come to see crafty stuff that my munchkins and our adventures will be popping up more and most importantly, my way of welcoming any and all readers from my other address with a BIG HUGE SMOOOOCH!

WELCOME ALL!!

Worth the Wait

The peony bushes are in bloom. I just love these gorgeous flowers.

There are many still waiting to pop. Hopefully I will get a couple more weeks to enjoy these lovely spring flowers.

So that I can continue to warm my home with their fluffy blooms.

Have I told you that I am in love with spring?

I hope you have a wonderful weekend!

Crafty Blogger Etiquette Question

If you "borrow" someones design or idea, is it ok to blog about your version? I ask because I stumbled upon the blog of a lovely lady who makes adorable skirts. I had seen the concept before but I really liked her design and it looked simple enough for my beginner skills so I borrowed it. The main reason I ask about etiquette is because she sells her sweet skirts. Now I have no intention of benefiting financially from her design. I just wanted to make one similar for my girls.

Of course, it goes without saying, I would give bloggy props to the designer. I am not in the business of taking credit for others ideas. I am just wondering if its ok to show my creation publicly or if I should just enjoy it privately.

What do you think?

Name Change

Some things have been rattling around in this old head of mine. I took a blogging hiatus for the last few months. It was life induced, really, and I needed it. I am feeling the itch to get back to it...obvious with all my recent posts, but things don't feel quite in order.

First, I am contemplating rejoining my crafty side with my everyday life/mama side. I split into two blogs because I had a readership that was based on my life as a woman and a mother. When the crafting craze began, I wasn't sure if it would last and I didn't want to lose my readers because my blog, all of a sudden, went crafty. Now that I have settled into myself a bit more, I realize that the things I make and using my creativity is a huge part of who I am and what I do on an everyday basis. I feel disjointed having the two separate. I haven't decided how I am going to handle that so I will keep you posted.

Second, I have not been happy with the title of this blog. I picked it when I was designing and selling hats. I wanted it to be "Shannon Leigh" but that was not available. I have since cut back on the hats because there are so many things I want to learn before I spend all my time on one craft. I am not ready, for so many reasons, to fully pursue that avenue. I still get orders from old customers which is great but I don't want to spend my few precious free moments working up the same hat over and over. I have admitted to crafter's ADD, right?

The issue with the title is that I am not currently designing anything. The title feels grandiose and misleading. I am learning by finding inspiration in others work and using my creativity to make things my own. I love it and I want the words at the top of this blog to convey what I am really up to. In conclusion, I have decided to change the title to the Crafty Nook. I would like to change the URL as well but I need to think that over a bit more. Sorry if I have confused anyone. I live my life intuitively and when things feel off, its time for a change. I have to be me...that's what this blogging thing is all about after all!

Ahhhhh, Completion

I have been in a bit of a funk lately. I feel scattered and ineffective. I have not been able to get a handle on anything it seems. I set the goal of "finishing" the current, and ever-growing, laundry pile everyday this week and all I could muster was a load or two. The house looks like a bomb went off but no matter how long I spend picking up, it just never looks any better. The day before yesterday I decided that it was time to take back control. My way of doing that was to hunker down and finish something. Here it is:

I am in love with this bag. It is perfect for the fall and I adore the color of the yarn. I used the Stitch and Bitch pattern but changed out the ring handles for these vintage wood ones. You may remember my good fortune of acquiring these handles. They make me happy just looking at them. They are chunky and heavy and feel good in your hand. If you ask me, they are a huge improvement over the cheap-o bamboo rings I originally bought for this project.

Half of the fun was choosing the broach that compliments it best. I have quite a collection now and I had such a ball sorting through them, trying them all on and selecting one. I'm a huge dork, I know, my hubby just reminded me of that. Good thing he loves me anyway!

Since deciding to kick the funk to the curb, I have managed to finish my book, finish the laundry and get the house reasonably clean. Sometimes you just have to muscle through and say NO to the cloudy funk. Its amazing how great I feel today. I think I may head to my local yarn shop for some group knitting tonight. What has gotten into me??

Pattern: fat bottom bag