About a year ago I attended a social gathering with people I didn't know well or, in many cases, at all. The topic of blogging came up and, to make a long story real short, I was asked point blank "Why do you think that anyone cares about what goes on in your daily life? Why don't you just send emails to friends and family, aka the people who actually do care? " Now many of you reading this (if I even have any readers left) are fellow bloggers and I happen to know that I am not alone when I say that that very thought has crossed my own mind periodically. It's that dark, nasty voice that tries to deter us from doing anything significant or meaningful. It's that voice that makes us our own worst enemy. I have fought that rotten voice off for the 3+ years I have blogged and crafted, reminding myself to ignore it and carry on. Well that one fateful night last year was the physical manifestation of "the voice". It looked me in the eye and told me that I have no place speaking publicly. That my life is insignificant and no one cares. Sadly, that was more than I could take. I subconsciously decided to close up shop and quietly retreat back to my apparently insignificant life as a stay at home mom.
I know you all are disappointed in my inability to call an asshole and asshole and stand up for myself and blogger womankind. Rest assured that no one is more disappointed than me. I allowed this person to take my voice. Not the nasty one but the self-expressive one. The one that makes me feel alive and connected. The one that allows me to vent all of this creative and occasionally stifled energy and, in turn, makes me a better mother...a better person.
Over the months that I remained quiet, a very sad thing happened. I lost my voice. I forgot all that makes my mind race and my pulse speed up. Last week I realized how much I missed this little outlet of mine. Sharing about my family and daily activities is fun and I love that my distant relatives and friends can stay in the know but what I missed most was sharing me. My thoughts, my hardships, my isms and revelations. I processed my thoughts this way and, most importantly, I received good, positive feedback from people who cared.
So here I am, confessing the truth and standing up to say...no yell
MY LIFE MATTERS. MY THOUGHTS MATTER. I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO SAY WHATEVER I WANT TO SAY IN AS PUBLIC A PLACE AS I WANT TO. YOU DON'T HAVE TO READ IT...HECK YOU DON'T EVER HAVE TO COME HERE AT ALL. BUT IF YOU DO, MY DOOR IS ALWAYS OPEN. AMEN
9 comments:
Good for you - and for us! You have a lovely blog, keep posting please.
I care far too much about what people think of me and my life (and really wish I didn`t). Maybe that`s why I keep my blog anonymous - but I might get to where you are one day.
Happy crafting and blogging!
AMEN! I'm sorry you felt like you had to step away from doing something you liked because of one persons cruel remark. I love blogging, and if I'm honest, whether anyone cares or not (and I know a few do, at least my family does ;-) I would still do it, because it pleases ME... not anyone else. The thing about other 'bloggers' though, we can honestly say we do care, otherswise we wouldn't read the blogs we read and we wouldn't 'follow' the blogs we follow..
and I follow your blog;-)
xx
Yes your life matters! I'm so sorry some cruel person allowed your for one moment to question your reasons for blogging. It's a personal thing, yes it's out there for the world to see, but first and foremost it's yours. Say what you want to and don't let yourself be concerned about what happens on the other end. When your writing comes from the heart, it will be welcomed by others who do feel like what you have to say matters! And having a blog doesn't mean you can't also email a friend or family.
It really doesn't matter if no one cares about what you write. What matters is that you care. Like you said, no one has to read your blog. Only those who want to read it will keep coming back for your updates. And you have many friends, both real and bloggie, who love reading your thoughts and seeing your creations...me included! :) People can say cruel things and it isn't easy to shake off a cruel remark when it hits a nerve. It's probably good that it happened, though. You took some time to think about what blogging really means to you and whether or not it was something worthwhile to you. I'm glad you'll keep posting!!
You know why I blog? Because it makes me more observant about my own life. About what I want to remember. About what I want to be better at. About what I want to celebrate. And I feel like I'm writing the history of my family, for my kids. So, it's super lovely (I really do mean this) when people take the time to visit me. In fact, it makes my day. But that's really not the purpose so much. I do it for my kids. And whatever reason you choose to do, IS RIGHT for you. Hugs.
You matter very much.. especially to us.
You matter A LOT to me. I love hearing your 'voice'. I am happy to hear that you are following your heart again and are not letting someone else steer it for you.
Sweetie I have missed you so much! I loved reading and connecting with you online. Shame on someone for messing that up. That being said I have struggled a lot lately with this too. My life has been very miserable (though its looking up) and I wasn't sure how to share my feelings in a positive way. So I didn't share much at all. You know what I mean. It's a hard balance. Love ya and welcome back!
Well, if it makes you feel any better...
I've been having some tough Mommy days lately and in an effort to try to feel better and hopefully gain some perspective, I directed myself to your blog. Random, I know, but I am glad that I did. As a Mommy of 4, you are a source of inspiration to me! I hope you keep blogging because you never know who might be gaining strength, wisdom and direction from what you write! xoxo, JEN
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